Rather than being concerned with the efforts of his father or offering him any help, the speaker worries about polishing his solid shoes. The speaker maintains that while he dressed, found himself "fearing the chronic angers of that house," (Hayden
We see in the final 2 lines that the speaker is without delay old enough to consider the sacrifices his father made for his benefit.
From toiling all week to getting up at the crack of dawn in a freezing house to make a fire, the speaker now understands his father loved greatly loved him. The angers of the house he now views as love's "austerity," necessary when being responsible for others. Perhaps the speaker has children of his own now. He understands that though he could not appreciate his father's actions and demeanor at the time, love is often demonstrated as a lonely austerity when one sacrifices their own comfortableness for the comfort of others. In this manner, the speaker comes to appreciate his father's actions and behavior a good deal more than he did as a child, though his repeat of "What did I k
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